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Посмеемся :)

Читаем, смотрим фильмы, ходим в кафе :) И ездим на курорт!

Модераторы: Irbis, Nastya

Re: Посмеемся :)

Сообщение garna_mama » Ср янв 25, 2017 14:52

Жалко что модераторы не следят за темой(( Заспамили и это уже не первая(
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Сервис подбора имен для ребенка

Re: Посмеемся :)

Сообщение Яна606 » Вт май 16, 2017 07:00

Лежат Ванька с Машкой в стогу сена. Видят – жеребец кобылу покрывает. Машка:
– Вань, а как он узнал, что она хочет?
– Черт его знает, по запаху, наверное.
Через некоторое время Машка:
– Вань, у тебя, похоже, насморк...
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Re: Посмеемся :)

Сообщение Polzunok » Вс май 21, 2017 23:51

«Блондинка» «блондинке», по телефону:
— Ой подруга у меня, как бы, беда на самом деле!
— Ноготь, как бы, сломала, да?
— Да нет, как бы, на самом деле. Муж, как бы, в реанимацию попал.
— А чё он, заболел што ли на самом деле, да?
— Да, как бы, я сама не пойму, да. Его на работе, типа, цифрами ударило.
— Какими?
— 220, кажется…
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Re: Посмеемся :)

Сообщение Polzunok » Вс май 21, 2017 23:51

— Я вот не пойму, ты дома или на работе живешь?
— Я и сам не пойму.
— Говорят, что дом у человека там, где зарядное от мобильника.
— Так я его всегда с собой ношу.
— Ясно, бомж значит.
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Re: Посмеемся :)

Сообщение Olenka » Пн май 22, 2017 00:18

— Не ковыряйся в носу – детей не будет!
— Да я не глубоко!
В принципе, если ничего не покупать, то цены нормальные.
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Re: Посмеемся :)

Сообщение Zheka91 » Пн май 22, 2017 02:13

Приезжает муж (М) из командировки, дома обнаруживает картину — жена (Ж) в прозрачном пеньюаре, на столике бутылка из под шампанского, два бокала..
М: Ну, признавайся, мля!!
Ж: Да… Кум вот заходил..
М: Ну, дальше, мля! Приставал?..
Ж: Да… Целовал вот…
М: Куда?!!!
Ж: В губы, вот…
М: Еще куда?!!!
Ж: Ну, в шею…
М: А еще куда? Признавайся, мля!!!
Ж: Да, в грудь вот…
М: «/%!,.!»%.!!!! Еще куда???
Ж: В живот тоже…
М: Ну, дальше, еще куда?!!!
Ж: В колено…
М: Ты, мля, мне не перескакивай!!!
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Re: Посмеемся :)

Сообщение Olenka » Пн май 22, 2017 02:13

Говорят один инквизитор сделал большой бизнес, привезя на вновь открытые острова, населенные каннибалами, пепел сожженных еретиков в банках с надписью — «Растворимые жаренные люди».
В принципе, если ничего не покупать, то цены нормальные.

За это сообщение автора Olenka поблагодарил:
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Re: Посмеемся :)

Сообщение Zheka91 » Пн май 22, 2017 02:14

Зашел один охотник к другому в гости и увидел в комнате на стене рога прибиты:
— Э-э! Брат! А у меня дома рога-то покрупнее будут!
— Так у тебя и жена постарше…
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Re: Посмеемся :)

Сообщение Olenka » Пн май 22, 2017 02:14

В пиццерии у блондинки спрашивают:
— На сколько кусочков вам порезать пиццу — на 4 или на 8?
— На 4, 8 я не съем!
В принципе, если ничего не покупать, то цены нормальные.
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Re: Посмеемся :)

Сообщение Zheka91 » Пн май 22, 2017 02:14

На улице дождь. Парень и девушка сидят в комнате.
— Ну что будем делать при такой погоде?
— У меня есть идея: достань монетку, и мы сыграем в орла или решку. Если выпадет орел — будем делать то, что я захочу, а если решка — что ты захочешь. Начинай бросать монетку, а я тем временем приготовлю постель.
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Re: Посмеемся :)

Сообщение Zheka91 » Пт июн 09, 2017 12:12

Посреди Атлантического океана тонет лайнер. Капитан в панике, и тут ему сообщают, что среди пассажиров есть раввин, который может совершать чудеса. Его срочно приводят к капитану и тот просит:
— Рэбе, что можно сделать?
— Интернет есть?
— Есть!
— Тогда продавайте корабль.
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